New Year, Same Old You!

I guess that’s kind of a crabby title, but I’ve got to tell you: I fucking HATE January. I hate that Christmas is over, and I don’t get to drink Bailey’s for breakfast. I hate the darkness and that there’s nothing to look forward to for the rest of the month but bills. I hate that every time I turn around, there’s a new diet/exercise/makeover program that’s going to “change our lives forever” even though we know that’s usually a load of old cobblers.

So, as you can imagine, I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions! But the one thing I do know is that if you’re going to make any, they damn well had better be easy and fun. So here’s one amazing thing you can do for yourself and your looks this year that takes almost no time at all and feels so good:

WASH. YOUR. FACE.

As a girl who’s had a nightly face-washing routine since the age of twelve, even telling you this seems silly. But I’ve talked with women of all ages and discovered that many of us have a less-than-diligent approach to taking off our makeup and giving our skins a good scrubbing before bed. And to that I say: EW! You don’t want to end up like this, do you?

(The Girl Who Didn't Wash her Face starts at 0:45, and I am an embedding idiot.)

 This year, resolve to wash your face every single night. Even if you don’t feel like it. Even if you’re tired/drunk. Even if you didn’t wear any makeup that day. Because there is NOTHING you can do for your face that will pay off more than cleaning it. If you retire with makeup and/or dirt on your skin, you’re just rubbing it in for all those hours on your pillow. Then you get your pillowslip all grimy to rub your face on the next night. Again, say it with me, now: EW!

Also, if you’re not cleansing before bedtime, changes are you’re not applying any moisturizers or serums or lovely little creams either, and that’s a crying shame. Nighttime is when these products can do their best work, ensuring that you wake up looking fresh and well-rested. This is best time for anti-agers, for exfoliants, for acne treatments….whatever special care your skin needs.

Make nightly face-washing a non-negotiable part of your routine, like brushing and flossing your teeth. Also, did I mention that it’s fun? You get to pick whatever kind of cleanser you want: creamy, or foamy, or watery, or even just one of those wipey things. Trust me, once you’re started, it will seem beyond gross NOT to do it.

Of course I have to get all over-the-top and use that most revered of beauty appliances, the Clarisonic. It’s like a sonic toothbrush for your FACE. I’ve had mine for nearly a year now, and I love it. My skin has never looked better. I used to get little bumps and things, but those have almost entirely vanished since I converted to the Clarisonic Cult.

But you don’t have to use a crazy-lady $200 machine to wash your face—lower-maintenance options abound. And I’d advise you not to spend the earth on your face wash. It’s all going down the drain anyway, so fancy ingredients aren’t that important. You want something that cleans gently—some folks treat their faces like they’re refinishing an old dresser. Less is more here!

This is my current favourite cleanser. It’s very gentle, removes makeup well (although I still use a separate eye makeup remover for the heavy duty stuff), and leaves me feeling moisturized, but not goopy. (And it plays very nicely with the Clarisonic…)

If you’ve got oiler skin and/or wear lots of makeup, this is a good option. 

 And if you’re really lazy, or frequently stagger home at dawn and collapse into bed, then the ultimate cheater-method are these cleansing wipes. You can splash with water afterwards, or just keep a packet of them on your nightstand. They’re handy for the gym or travel too.

And there you have it. You’re a better, cleaner person already! 

My crush with eyeliner.

I’ve had a few requests to discuss long-wearing eyeliner, or rather, how to do eyeliner that doesn’t smudge. Unlike advanced makeup tricks, like putting on false eyelashes or doing your own nail art, applying a bit of eyeliner—and having it stay where we put it—is something many of us want to be able to do, at least some days. So! Let’s figure out how to do that.
First things first, though—if your liner always ends up fading, or migrating onto your lids and creasing, or smudges like crazy below your lower lids, there are things to help it “set” a bit better. But the main technique to master is picking up your wallet and keys and getting your ass to the store, because you probably need to buy a new eyeliner! Take comfort in knowing that if you’ve got major issues with a liner, it’s not you; it’s the liner. Just like lovers, there are a lot of bad ones.

When you’re shopping for liner, you’re looking for the right balance of “slip.” Slip is the smoothness and glide of the product. Liners with great slip are easy to apply and blend, but may sacrifice durability. On the flip side, some liners labelled waterproof or long-wearing might last all day, but if their application feels like you’re sawing at your eyelid with a Crayola, that’s a less-than-desirable experience.

(Let’s take a moment to note that this here post is specific to eyeliner pencils. There are myriad liner formulations out there, including cake, liquid, pen, and gel, and we can talk about all of them later, but when it comes to the basics, most of us are gonna choose pencil.)

Because I have ridiculously sensitive eyeballs, I need a super-smooth liner. But I also like to line the waterline (this is the tender and juicy inner rim of the top and/or bottom lid.) It’s hard to find a liner that’s soft enough to apply here, but will still stick to the area. EW IT’S A MUCUS MEMBRANE YOU GUYS but once you’ve started lining it, just try to stop. So, when Auntie Jenni recommends a liner, you know it’s gonna stay put. I’ve tried about a billion, so here are some of my favourite brands for every budget.

At the drugstore:
It’s no fuckin’ secret that I’m a big fan of the drugstore. Many makeup products here can be just as good or better than the snazzola department-store stuff. But when it comes to liner, I’ve found only a few cheapos that meet my high standards.

Revlon Colorstay
This is a good basic liner that wears well. I haven’t used it in a while, since I’ve since found the liner of my dreams, but you could do worse. Not a ton of colours, but it does the job.

Covergirl Liquiline Blast
This product promises “the intensity of a liquid in a pencil” which is a load of utter horseshit, but it is a good, well-pigmented product that has the added bonus of a smudger do-dad on the end. It also has a pretty good colour selection. It requires sharpening, and some people have a hard time sharpening them, which always surprises me. Are they trying to hack away at it with an old Buck knife or something? If it does go a bit crumbly on you, put it in the freezer for a few minutes before sharpening it.

Prestige Waterproof Eyeliner
A word of warning—don’t even bother with the other liners that this brand makes. You want the pencil in the link. Yep, that one.

At department stores/Sephora, etc:

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Pencil
If you’ve been looking for the liners required to complete your Rainbow Brite costume, look no further. These are fantastic pencils, with excellent wear and fantastic slip. They glide on like a dream and are smudgeable for about twenty seconds, then set and will not budge. They have a huge following, and despite their relatively high price point, it’s easy to see why. They also have awesome names: my faves include Bourbon, Rock Star, 1999, and Zero.

Makeup Forever Aqua Eyes
Another great choice for those who love colour, although they come in plenty of “normal” tones too. The one thing I’ve noticed about these is that some colours don’t seem to apply/wear as well as others, and I think they dry out more quickly than the Urban Decay ones. But your experience might be different, so give them a try. And never leave your lids off!

Stila Smudge Sticks
It’s really hard for me to talk about this liner without GETTING A BIT SHOUTY. This is my Holy Grail of eyeliners, the liner I would have made myself if I had a chemistry degree and a makeup company. Named after their beloved “Smudge Pots”, these are a relatively new product, and I’m praying that Stila never discontinues them. The word “smudge” is totally misleading here, since these babies set within moments of application. They’re twist-up and don’t need sharpening, which is a bonus in my book. Don't twist up more than a millimeter at a time though, because they’re soft enough to break off. And when a product ounce for ounce costs more than ACTUAL GOLD, you don’t want to waste a single crumb. The colours have a subtle, metallic shimmer that’s just lovely. They stick to the waterline like nobody’s business. Worth every penny. Just think of all the money you’ll save never buying a shitty eye pencil ever again!

Coming very soon: A freaking VIDEO how to put on your pretty new eyeliner and keep it there! Plus: Um, how do I get this shit OFF now?